Category: Joke Board
Skiing Experience
Miss the experience of skiing? Try the following to get that feeling back.
10. Visit your local butcher and pay $10 to sit in his walk-in freezer for
half an
hour. Afterwards, burn two $50 dollar bills to warm up.
9. Go to the nearest hockey rink and walk across the ice 20 times in your
ski boots
carrying two pairs of skis, accessory bag and poles. Pretend you are looking
for
your car.
8. For ski boot simulation at home, put a pebble in your street shoes and
tighten
a C-clamp around your toes.
7. Buy a pair of gloves and immediately throw one away.
6. Go to McDonald's and insist on paying $6.50 for a hamburger. Be sure to
wait in
the longest line.
5. Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a motorcycle
fast enough
to make the ticket lacerate your face.
4. Drive slowly for five hours - anywhere - as long as it's in bad weather
and you're
following an 18 wheeler.
3. Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray blast
your face.
You'd almost believe you're skiing in front of a snowmaker!
2. Dress up in as many clothes as you can and then proceed to take them off
because
you have to go to the bathroom.
1. Repeat all of the above every Saturday.